As I wait in the carpeted hallway outside the boardroom where Mike Smith, Robb Wells and John Paul Tremblay are holding court, my palms are actually clammy. Wait, am I nervous? I ask whether they're going to be in character. The publicist shrugs mysteriously.
When I'm beckoned in, there they are - definitely in character. Ricky, Bubbles and Julian look shifty and trapped, dwarfed by a giant pile of muffins and Perrier behind a business desk. It's 10 a.m. and they look like they want a beer almost as much as I do. In lieu of liquor, we quickly turn to talk of love.
Hour So, um, hi. I guess I'll get straight to the point. In my neighbourhood, Bubbles is something of a sex object.
Bubbles Reaaally.
Hour Really. So I was kind of thinking, you know, um, that there might have been a love interest for Bubbles going on in the movie.
Bubbles Wow. I... I mean there were some nice ladies around there...
Ricky Bubbles wants to fall in love bad, he just hasn't met the right person yet. But he's been looking.
Hour
Bubbles That's part of it, and also, I haven't found anybody who doesn't mind a bit of cat hair on their sweater. Stuff like that - I get a lot of cat hair around my shed, I got to admit.
Ricky You don't really have a lot of room to have people over, either.
Bubbles [a bit indignantly] I can entertain!
Ricky You can't really tow them in the go-kart, in the trailer, the way you towed me.
Hour The right girl...
Bubbles The right girl shouldn't mind! I mean, I got my own wheels.
Hour So this is going to play in Japan, France, all over the place. Do you think the movie is an accurate portrayal of you guys, or are they just trying to make you movie stars so they can sell figurines or something?
Ricky That's a good question. I just hope we don't look like total dicks.
Hour So, I heard that you guys were reluctant about the nudity in your movie - you've really taken it to the next level...
Ricky I would never allow my girlfriend, now wife, to show her stuff on TV or in the movies except... well, she had some stuff done, and I guess they are pretty nice, and his girlfriend [points to Julian] was yelling for her to take 'em out. She normally wouldn't do that...
Bubbles She hauls 'em out all the time.
Ricky But not in front of the cameras. She's not stripping any more, she has her hair salon, and now I'm retired for, like, at least a year, two years... All I want people to know is, yes, I smoke dope and swear a lot, maybe break the law every once in a while, but deep down I'm a good person and I just love my family and friends, and I'm trying to look after them, I'd do anything for anybody, and if you don't fuck with me then I won't fuck with you. But if you fuck with me I'm going to start fucking with you big time.
Trailer Park Boys: The Movie
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